With the Christmas season closing in there are gifts to buy and not much time left to get them! Many of us live pay check to pay check and may not have the funds in time to buy those great gifts we have been wanting to buy in time for the big day.
Unfortunately, with the faltering economy, a lot of companies, both big and small have made major cuts. Including raises and bonuses. Because of this, many families who used to receive holiday bonuses are not longer getting them. It is a hard truth and many families are scrambling to figure out how to provide a Christmas for their kids.
There are not many options out there for the average family. However, in our researching, we discovered getting a payday loan is a great option. These types of places offer a Pay Day Advance for Holidays as well as year round for when times are tough.You get the money until your next pay day.
Obviously, having the money up front is ideal. However, this is a great option for families that have been hit hard by the current economy climate. It is also better than maxing out a credit card that will wind up costing way more than the gifts were even worth!
There is nothing worse than being a woman going through PMS…or being WITH a woman going through PMS! LOL!!!
PMS affects 70 to 90 percent of menstruating women. It is more than just the humorous “mood swing” joked about. PMS has serious symptoms including headaches, back pain, swollen and tender breasts, increased anxiety, bloating, acne breakouts, fatigue, food cravings, and more.
Things that Make PMS Worse
- Artificial sweeteners
- Processed foods
- Hydrogenated fats
Helps for PMS
- A veggie based diet…especially dark green ones.
- For cramps try, Aleve.
- B vitamins
- Get your daily dose of iron
- Drink Cranberry juice
- Calcium supplements
There are no set cures for the PMS curse. However, we can, as women, fight them PMS monster the best we can!
Copyright © The Complete Woman Magazine, All Rights Reserved
I believe that just being a woman is a gift. We are such wonderful unique creatures. We have spirit, beauty, patience, abilities, time-management, and humor like no other. However, being a woman can be extremely stressful.
All women have stress.
You can be a corporate woman who has to deal with the big boys. You have stress.
You can be a woman who is in school dealing with financial pressures. You have stress.
You can be a Mom who works outside the home and cannot be with your children as often as you like. You have stress.
You can be a homeschool Mom who has to deal with the stress of what that entails. Uh…you have stress too!
No matter what your story is, if you are a woman, you are most likely stressed out or at the very least stress is no stranger to you.
Women are more likely to die of heart disease than man and women have more stress than men. This is simply a fact of life. We can either let it get the best of us or we can fight it and win!
Stress Busters for Every Woman:
Mental Vacation. Find a quiet spot. Even if it means leaving the house once in a while to sit on a park bench (with some mace on hand, of course…LOL!). Close your eyes and see yourself somewhere wonderful and spectacular. Relax there for a few and take some long deep breaths.
Fitness. Exercise is a huge stress buster and heart healthy. We all have time if we make time. Even a 15 minute walk around the mall will work! Get some physical activity going on in your everyday life.
Eat Right. Too much sugar and caffeine is not good for anyone. Drink more water and eat more fresh fruits and veggies. You will feel better and maybe even lose some unwanted blubber. Oh, and drink lots of H2O! Nothing is better for a woman’s body, skin and aging than water! Oh, and do not rob yourself of the wonderfulness of chocolate!
Just Say No! Limit alcohol. It is not good for you in regular large quantities. Yes, a glass of red wine a few times a week is heart healthy…but not a bottle. LOL! Also, quit smoking if you do. It is a sure fire way to a shorter lifespan for a women. Kick those nasty money robbing, health stealing sticks to the curb! Your lungs will thank you!
Find a Hobby or Sport. Do something just for you. Something that you like and you enjoy. Do something for no one else but you! We all have something we “wish we had time for.” Make the time. You only live once. You better make the time. Life is not worth living if you never get anything for you!
Women, make the most of your lives. You have one life to live and it’s not a soap opera! It’s a gift and you should be enjoying it! Just say NO to stress!
Copyright © Lara Velez, All Rights Reserved
Kerasal is a foot ointment. It is used to help make your feet softer. You can by it at most drug stores. I got mine at Walgreen’s. This stuff is like a miracle cream. I have been doing all kinds of experiments. Who would have thought??
I love the stuff! I originally purchased it for my elbows. Yes, my elbows. I was getting rough elbows from leaning on them a lot while working Online. Nothing worked. I tried everything, including; Vaseline, moisturizers, olive oil, vitamin e oil, you name it. Nothing would even touch the roughness.
Then, I though, hey, let me try some heel ointment. This is where Kerasal came in. It worked almost instantly. Seriously. I was shocked. After a few applications, my elbows were no longer rough. Yeah!
So, then I actually used it for it’s original purpose…LOL…my heels. Guess what? It worked there too!
Me being me decided not to stop there. I though man, if this stuff is that good and moisture filled, why not try it on some wrinkles. LOL. Yes, I went there. As soon as I put it on, I noticed the line fade a tad. I put it on the one I blame my husband on. LOL. You know the one between the eyebrows. It’s a line that drives me nuts.
It is slowly fading. I mean it is still there. However, the Kerasal has definitely diminished it enough that I feel better about it.
Kerasal is so much more than foot ointment. It is a beauty product that every woman should have. It has so many uses and I am still experimenting with it. Buy some. Use it. LOL. Let me know how it worked for you!
Copyright © Lara Velez, All Rights Reserved
With summer right around the corner, you may be wondering HOW you are going to get your body ready to go public!
Hopefully, this article will help you find some simple ways in which you can tone and shape your body for the summer.
Your Diet Matters
Whether or not you have been on a diet this winter, here are some tips and suggestions to help you to not only eat better, but give you a healthier look. Experts recommend that instead of skipping meals you should instead eat up to 5 meals a day in smaller portions. During the summer, eating lighter is the key. Also, adding more protein to your diet will assist you in losing weight as you exercise. In this way, you will burn fat, not muscle.
A diet consisting of fruits, vegetables, and salads containing leafy green vegetables, and at least 8 glasses of water a day, will set you on the path to slimming down and feeling great. Try not to eat any snacks or other types of foods after 8 p.m. and cut back on foods and drinks which contain sugar and carbohydrates.
Add protein such as meat, poultry, and other rich in protein foods. Add fiber to your diet as well. More importantly, always begin the day with a healthy breakfast. Have a bowl of cereal with blueberries, for example. Blueberries are high in antioxidants, besides having a myriad of other health benefits.
Ideally, you want to lose a pound a week. Any more than that will defeat the purpose. Studies have shown that in order to lose a pound a week, you have to decrease your total caloric intake by 3500 calories a week. This can certainly be accomplished by having plenty of fruits and vegetables on hand as snacks, avoid fried foods, and mix up the menu on a daily basis so that your meals are inviting and not boring.
It is important to keep hydrated at all times. You may think you’re fine, but if you are in the heat of the sun you may not realize just how dehydrated you are until nausea or a faint feeling comes over you.
Drinking water with every meal will ensure you are getting plenty of water and it will also help in losing weight as well. Drinking water is VITAL to your health, beauty, anti-aging, and body.
Exercise is the Key
NOTE: It is IMPORTANT that you check with your doctor BEFORE beginning any exercise program!
Weight training is ideal for toning and shaping your body. Different exercises 3 times a week can help you to achieve the sculpted look you desire.
Many fitness experts attest that weight training 3 times a week and targeting all of the muscle groups can achieve the best results. Starting with 1 set of exercises and then building up to two or three is suggested. They also recommend 8 to 12 repetitions as the standard form of weight training exercise.
Also, in order to burn more calories, you should exercise more than one muscle group in a session.
Other exercise routines can include aerobic exercises 3 to 5 days a week for 30 to 35 minutes. The cardiovascular workout will increase your metabolism and allow for weight reduction as well.
If you are too busy to devote 30 to 45 minutes, you can certainly engage in high-intensity 10-minute workouts 3 times a day. Include walking at a brisk pace, climbing stairs and even jumping rope.
Exercise to help shape and tone your front and back thigh muscles:
Stand with your feet a few inches apart. Put a weight in each hand, and rest your hands on each shoulder, that is, your right hand on your left shoulder, and your left hand on your right shoulder. With your back straight and head up and looking ahead, lower your body to a comfortable position. Feel the stretch in your front thigh muscles. Flex your front and back thigh muscles as hard as you can throughout the movement. Return to the start position and give your front and back thighs an extra flex on the finish. Repeat 15 times.
Exercise for lifting and toning the front and back thighs, firm up the hips, and butt:
Stand with your left foot forward and right foot back. Ensure there is at least a 2-foot space between each foot. Keep your right arm up and your left arm down at your side. Bring your right knee up until your thigh is parallel to the floor and your right heel is just about touching your inner knee area, all the time reversing the position of your arms as you move. Repeat the movement 15 times. Now put your right foot forward and your left foot back and repeat the process. Repeat this movement 15 times.
Exercise for the Tummy:
Another exercise, which most of can relate to, involves the stomach. Having a stomach that is a bit saggy can be problematic. While you don’t have a lot of time to redefine and shape the stomach before summer remember every little bit helps. Here is an exercise which you can begin now.
Lie face down on the floor. If you have a mat by all means use it. Place your hands near your shoulders, and take a deep breath. Then push your body up until the hands and feet support your body. Hold this position for 20 seconds, taking care to keep your abdominal muscles pulled in. Lower yourself down to the floor, rest for a few seconds, and then repeat. Do 3 sets of 10 repetitions daily. This is a form of yoga that is wonderful for toning the abdominal muscles.
Here is another group of exercises for the hips and thighs. Unfortunately, we all know this is where most of the fat resides. However, if you engage in this exercise 3 to 4 times a week, in combination with your other exercises, you will be able to see changes to your body in 6 to 10 weeks.
Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart and arms by the sides. Keep a strong posture, and slowly lower buttocks as though you are about to sit down in a chair. Lower several inches and then slowly rise up. Repeat this 15 times.
Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart and place your hands on the hips. Stand erect and take a large step forward with one foot. Stay in that position. Turn your back foot up until you can balance on your toes and then slowly lower your body until your front knee forms a right angle. Slowly raise your body back up. Repeat on each side 15 times. Exercise, along with a healthy diet, should be part of our lifestyle all year long. However, with summer on the way, there is an urgency to achieve what would normally take months, and crunch them into several weeks.
Beautify Your Body
Although you can certainly take a trip to a salon that specializes in waxing, the truth is this is a mighty painful procedure. Not only is it painful, but sometimes embarrassing as well. They do a very good job of removing hair both in front and back of your lower body, but some people still prefer to wax at home.
If you prefer to wax your bikini line in the privacy of your own home, there are a number of wax kits available which are safe and effective. Cold waxing is often used for home waxing, although not as effective as hot waxing, but it does ensure there will be less likelihood of burning during the process.
If you do opt for hot waxing:
The wax is applied with a tongue depressor or spatula over the unwanted hairs. A strip is then placed on top of the melted wax and quickly pulled off. Ouch!
For effective waxing, the hairs must be at least a half inch above the skin. Redness and soreness will accompany this procedure for at least 2 hours. The frequency of waxing is every 6 to 8 weeks.
Probably one of the most soothing and relaxing procedures is a pedicure. Not only do these professionals cut, trim, file, wash, scrub, and massage your feet, it is just a wonderful way to spend time being pampered. Moreover, your feet feel light as air afterward.
If you have the time, treat yourself to a pedicure for the summer. It’s not that expensive, and it will make you feel incredibly relaxed.
But if you are like some of us who manicure and pedicure at home, ensure you have all of the right equipment such as pedicure utensils, foot bath, lotions, brushes, and of course, a fantastic color to apply afterward.
Although one has to admit that a self-pedicure is not the same as having it professionally done, there is one exception. If you have a partner or spouse who is willing to massage your feet and legs for you – then no problem.
One of the more serious concerns about summer is sunbathing. With the sun’s rays becoming more threatening each year, all of us have to be careful since we know the UVA and UVB rays can cause skin cancer.
The use of tanning beds has become more dangerous than sunbathing. In fact, the UV rays in tanning beds have a higher yield of radiation than the sun. That is why a tanning lotion may be the better…healthier choice in the long run!
With all of the sunless tanning products on the market today, there are specific products which have been shown to be more safe and effective than others. According to the American Academy of Dermatology, sunless tanning lotions that contain DHA as the active ingredient are the most effective. Whether in gel, lotion, or spray form, any product that contains DHA is said to be the most reliable.
However, they do advise that because DHA interacts with the dead cells, the color lasts about 5 to 7 days after the initial application. They also advise that since we lose dead skin cells every day, the tan fades daily. Therefore, reapplication every 3 days is suggested to keep your gorgeous tan.
In closing, don’t forget to apply sunscreen before going out in the sun. Have plenty of water, and remember that God created you and you are beautiful. You may not look like the cover of a magazine…but guess what? Neither do the women ON the magazines!
Below are a few simple natural beauty remedies you can make at home!
Exfoliate while Brushing your Body
Before showering, take a brush and start brushing! This is an inexpensive, and easy way to exfoliate dry skin. It’s simple, before you turn the shower on, stand in there and start at your feet, then begin brushing in small circles toward the upper part of your body. Repeat on the back side of your body. Don’t scrub too hard. However, be sure to apply steady pressure. After you have finished brushing your body, shower as usual.
Multi-Talented Olive Oil
This is a VERY versitile product. Olive oil can be used for so much more than cooking!
- You can make a very nice bath oil with it…simply mix in a few drops of rose oil, or another scented oil that you like, shake together, and add to you warm bath water…or just go with plain olive oil!
- You can use it as massage oil. Warm it up and start rubbing. Better yet, get someone to rub you!
- Reduce wrinkles by applying an equal mixture of olive oil and pure lemon juice to your skin before bedtime.
- Strengthen your nails. Simply soak them in warm extra virgin olive oil for five minutes.
- As a conditioner. All you do is use it like you would any weekly deep conditioner. Apply warm olive oil to hair, cover head with a towel for 5 minutes, rinse. It will leave your hair smooth and shiny.
Good Old Fashioned Oatmeal
It’s facial time! With the following ingredients (oatmeal, warm water, yogurt, honey, and one egg white), make a thin mud type mixture and apply it thinly to your face. Leave it on for 15-20 minutes, or until you feel a tightening, then rinse with warm water.
We all know that the best way to a healthy body is diet and exercise. However, do we ever take the time to exercise our brains? Do we eat for a healthy brain? probably not, for most of us.
As busy women, we rarely take time to eat properly and exercise our bodies, so what can we do to improve our Brain Health?
Let’s begin with Brain Diet:
You always hear me say…DRINK MORE WATER! Well, I am saying it again. Drink it up, ladies!
Also, the following nutrients may be helpful for brain health.
- Omega 3 Fatty Acids. These “good fats” can be found in fish, including: tuna, salmon, and mackerel. They can also be found in certain nuts and oils.
- Choline. This is the main nutrient required in the production of acetocholine, the most essential chemical in retaining memory. You can find it in fish (especially anchovies), eggs, soy, and some types of nuts.
- DMAE. This is easily absorbed into the brain and also aids in the production of acetylcholine. It can be found in sardines and anchovies, but most people prefer taking a supplement. Be sure to take it in the morning, as it can cause insomnia.
- B & C Vitamins. Getting enough of the B vitamins and vitamin C are very important for the proper brain function. B vitamins have been shown to raise scores on IQ tests.
- Pyroglutamate. This is an essential amino acid that can be used to improve memory, concentration, coordination, and reaction time. It is found in dairy products, fish, fruit, and vegetables.
- Phosphatidylserine. This chemical has not only been shown to improve resistance to stress.
- Glutamine. Another important amino acid for brain function. Along with the improved brain function, glutamine is an energy booster can help you break your addictions to stimulants.
Getting just a couple of these nutrients into your body can help you feel better, and improve your memory.
Now, onto Exercising the Brain:
How do you exercise your brain?
Simply put…USE IT!
- Do a Crossword Puzzle. You can also try solving other puzzles that require using your language skills. These help you remember things by making you regularly access simple memories.
- Number Puzzles. Go to a book store or go online and find Sudoku puzzles. These are number puzzles that are becoming increasingly popular. They help exercise your brain’s deductive reasoning skills. Plus, they’re fun and incredibly addictive.
- Learn Something New. The capacity of your brain is only determined by how much you want to put in it. Try learning a new skill or how to play a musical instrument. Learning a skill and continue to use it will keep your memory accessing skills limber.
- Expand your Vocabulary. Learn a new word every day. Your brain will be learning something new every day, and you will speak more intelligently!
- Let go of Speed Dial. Memorize those phone numbers. Yeah, technology is great…but when do we USE our brains?
- Exercise. Take care of your body. Try exercising at least 3 times a week. Even if you only get to walk. Do some type of exercise.
Keep in mind, exercising your mind has been shown to ward off Alzheimer’s. So if you want to keep your mind sharp, be sure to eat right, get enough rest, and exercise regularly.
When a woman’s way pleases the Lord, She makes even her enemies to be at peace with her. Proverbs 16:7
We do not need to be people pleasers. We should be God pleasers. If we keep our hearts right and do the right thing in every situation…even when it hurts, we will be blessed.
10 God Pleaser Tips:
- Make God a priority in your life
- Read the Bible
- Honesty is always the BEST policy
- Think before you speak
- Do what you say you will
- Be generous
- Listen to people
- Apologize when you are wrong
- Be quick to forgive
- Ask for forgiveness when you fail
We will never be perfect. Thankfully, God is not looking for perfection. He is simply looking for willing vessels and He will do the rest!
Copyright © Lara Velez
By: Lara Velez
Forgiveness can be a very difficult way to live. Forgiveness is extremely powerful. It can affect not only the person being forgiven, but the person doing the forgiving.
What does the Bible say about Forgiveness?
Esau forgave Jacob - In Genesis 27 Jacob has stolen his own brothers birthright and blessing! Esau was furious and vowed to kill him as soon as their father died. Jacob spent many years running. Then in Genesis 33:4-15 Esau forgives Jacob.
Most of us have had opportunities, material items, jobs, etc stolen from us. However, I would think that very few of us have experienced our sibling stealing our birthright and blessings (good wishes) from our Father.
Joseph forgave his brothers - In Genesis 37 Jacobs jealous brothers throw him in a pit and then sell him as a slave to a caravan on it’s way to Egypt! He was a slave for years and went to prison before he was blessed with the position of second in command of all Egypt. Then in Genesis 45:3-15 he has an opportunity to really stick it to them. He doesn’t! he forgives them, and even kisses and embraces them!
Can you even imagine? Your own family wanting you dead? Selling you into slavery? It’s unimaginable. However, most of us have family feuds though. One family member angry at another. Siblings. Mother and child. Father and child.
Moses forgave Miriam and Aaron - In Genesis 12:1-10 they slander Moses, and God jumps to His defense and inflicts Miriam with leprosy. In stead of thinking…she got what she deserved…in Genesis 12:13 Moses begs God to heal her.
Has anyone ever wrongly accused you of something? Slandered you? Spoke rudely to you? Have you forgiven them?
Stephen forgave the angry mob - In Acts 7:60 while being stoned to death for being a Christian and speaking the truth he asks God to forgive them with his last breath!
If I was being stoned to death…I don’t think that my last thoughts and words would be anything positive towards the ones stoning me, let alone asking God to forgive them! Maybe your a better person than I am.
Paul forgave his brothers and sisters in the Lord - In II Timothy 4:16 Paul forgives them for abandoning and forsaking him in his time of need.
Have you ever had close friends let you down? Have you forgiven them? or, are you still harboring unforgiveness and anger?
and finally, in Luke 23:34…
While innocently dying on the cross for our sins Jesus asked God to forgive the ones who put Him there! Our Savior was paying the ultimate agonizing price for not only our sins but the ones who killed Him…and He felt only love…He had no ill will…just love and forgiveness.
The examples that we just read show extremely evil wrongs that real people…regular people like you and me who forgave. They walked in forgiveness.
Why is it so hard for us to forgive someone for forgetting our birthday? Or, some other minor offense?
The Cost of Unforgiveness
Unforgiveness hinders our prayers. We are told in the book of Mark to let go of wrongs done to us and forgive before we pray.
Mark 11:25 – And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive them and let it drop (leave it, let it go), in order that your Father Who is in Heaven may also forgive you your own failings and shortcomings and let them drop.
Unforgiveness will cost us more than we realize.
Matthew 6:14-15 – For if you forgive people their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their trespasses neither will your Father forgive you your trespasses.
These are pretty scary words. You would think this would be enough to make us forgive…
Luke 6:37b – Acquit and forgive and release (give up resentment, let it drop), and you will be acquitted and forgiven and released.
This is classic sewing and reaping. Forgive, and be forgiven. You give, you get.
Ephesians 4:31-32 – Let all bitterness and indignation and wrath and resentment and quarreling and slander be banished from you. And become useful and helpful and kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another readily and freely, as God in Christ forgave you.
Colossians 3:13 – Be gentle and forbearing with one another and, if one has a difference (a grievance or complaint) against another, readily pardoning each other; even as the Lord has freely forgiven you, so you must also forgive.
It is very clear that we must remember…we have been forgiven many sins. It is very clear that we must forgive others who have wronged us in any way. It is very clear that if we do not forgive…we will not be forgiven.
This is a very important thing to keep in mind. We cannot walk around thinking that we will stroll into Heaven when we’ve harbored unforgiveness in our hearts. These are not my words…They are Scripture. They are words from God to you and me. We must let it go. We need to learn to walk in forgiveness. We need to just forgive. It may be hard.
You may be thinking that you have every right to be angry at someone. They may have been completely wrong. It doesn’t matter. You have been forgiven. I have been forgiven. We must forgive. No matter what the person did, and no matter how many times the person has wronged us.
Read Matthew 18:21-35. It is very clear on forgiveness. You may have read or heard it before…but it is definitely worth reading again…frequently…lest we forget.
I urge you to search deep in your heart. Pray. Be sure that you have let go of all wrongs done to you. Let go of all animosity. Let go of all anger and hostility. No matter how big the wrong. No matter how wrong they were. Release it.
I also want to point out that God loves you. He understands that there may be situations that are very difficult for you to let go and walk in forgiveness. God is simply looking for a willing vessel. If we go to Him, and tell Him we are having trouble forgiving, He WILL help us through. I believe this with my whole heart.
I struggle with this in my own life. I still have to take a couple of things to Him on a regular basis. I know that I want to forgive. And, I know that God will help me in His time. I also know that He knows my heart and if my heart is a forgiving one, He will have mercy and grace for me when I struggle with forgiveness.
Your assignment is to do the best you can to walk in forgiveness. Admit to your Daddy in Heaven when you just can’t find the strength, and leave it with Him, and leave it with Him, and leave it with Him until it’s gone.
God Bless You!
Copyright © Lara Velez
Note: All Scripture was taken from the Amplified Bible
By: Lara Velez
James 3:6 says; And the tongue is a fire. The tongue is a world of wickedness set among our members, contaminating and depraving the whole body…Whew, those are some strong words…but, wait, that’s not all. Proverbs 18:21 tells us; Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it for death or life. It is scary to think that my mouth has that much power.
I know that in my own life…I do not always choose my words wisely. I get angry and say stupid things. Do you?
Proverbs 29:11 says; A self confident fool utters all of his anger, but a wise man holds it back and stills it. The original Hebrew word for “utters” is ruwach (roo’vakh). It means; a violent exhalation, anger, unsubstantiability, blast, and whirlwind.
That means, when we lose our temper and spew out our anger…it’s like what a hurricane does when it hits land. It destroys everything in its path. I don’t know about you, but I can have some pretty nasty storms come out of my mouth at times.
Ephesians 4:26 says; When angry do not sin; do not let your wrath last until the sun goes down.
This tells me that it’s OK to get angry…it’s normal. We don’t have to walk around holding everything in. We do however, have to express our anger without yelling, cursing, violence, name calling, etc. That is where the anger becomes sin. How do we accomplish getting angry without a violent out burst or verbal whirlwind?
Let’s look at a few of practical examples of a woman’s wrath….how it begins…and how to counteract it.
Your child spills a drink for the twentieth time, on the carpet that you just cleaned from the last spill. Grrrr. You explode. You begin a full verbal attack with questions the child is unable to answer, and comments that will leave them in tears. This is selfish anger. It is about you. Who cares about a rug, tablecloth, or broken dish? Are they going with you when you go to Heaven?
In this example you need to stop…bite your tongue…and leave the room. Take a deep breath, and think; “OK, this is my baby. God gave me this child to love and care for. I must show grace…I love this child. I love my child. Thank you Lord, for this wonderful and precious child.”
I know what your thinking. “Yeah, right!” What you need to understand is that you must train yourself to do this…write it down, and keep it near by. Pull it out when you feel the anger building up inside. If you continue to do this over and over again, it will become your natural response…instead of an outburst of anger.
Your friend is chronically late. When plans are made you are already prepared for her to be late. However, there is this event that you really want to attend, and being late would mean a bad seat. So, you tell her that you need to be there on time. She can’t be late. Well, she shows up 20 minutes late. You have spent ever one of the minutes seething. Grrr. When she shows up, you explode. You say things that should have never been said, she leaves, and you miss the event.
Of course, you have every right to be angry. Or, do you? Why did you wait for her? You should have gone without her and told her to meet you there. Or invited another friend who is on time. Another thing that is crucial in a friendship like this is communication. It may not be easy, but you must tell this person how you feel…even if they cannot handle it. Be clear. Make sure that they know you will not be going places with them if they cannot make better efforts at being on time.
Your man comes home from work and flops down in front of the television. He puts on some program that he enjoys (or in my case plays Nintendo). Grrrr. You begin to think: “Doesn’t he care about how I feel?” “I think he loves that stupid video game more than me!” Then the inevitable happens…you blow up. Look out…here comes a category 5 hurricane!
As you can plainly see in this example, you have thought your way right into a melt down. Does any of this sound familiar? I’m sure you can think of some of your own examples.
In a situation like this, it would be a good time to start thinking about how thankful you are to have this man in your life, or how you love his smile, laugh, whatever. ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE!
Any time that we feel rage, for any reason, we need to think about what we’re thinking about. Colossians 3:13 says; Be gentle and forbearing with one another and, if one has a difference, a grievance, or a complaint against another, readily pardoning each other; even as the Lord has freely forgiven you, so you must also forgive.
“But, I cant do all this!” you say. Yes, you can! You are a strong woman…even if you can’t see it…speak it. Retrain your mind to think positive, and eventually it will come naturally.
Our minds are the root of most of our fears, low self esteem, some forms of depression, doubt…it all starts in our minds…then we speak it into existence.
When you fail, don’t beat yourself up. Pick yourself up, and press on!
God Bless You!
Here are some Scriptural references to help you study this topic further: II Chronicles 7:14; Psalm 103; Psalm 139; Proverbs 3:5-6; Proverbs 14:1; Proverbs 15:4; Proverbs 16:24; Proverbs 31:26; Isaiah 54:17; Mark 11:24; Romans 8:31-39; Philippians 4:13
Copyright © Lara Velez
Note: All Scripture references were from the Amplified Translation
About the Author: Lara Velez is a Christian homeschooling Mom of two and wife to her soul mate, Rob. She is a published writer, web publisher, and entrepreneur. She runs two online ministries for women; Moms of Faith and Wives of Faith.