The Complete Woman – TOP TEN: Top Ten Things Only Women Understand

10. Cats’ facial expressions

9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors

8. Why bean sprouts aren’t just weeds

7. Fat clothes

6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time

5. The difference between beige, off-white, and eggshell

4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow

3. Eyelash curlers

2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made

And, the number one thing Only Women Understand is….

1. OTHER WOMEN!

The Complete Woman – TOP TEN: Top Ten Signs You Could Be an Internet Junkie

10. You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.

9. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

8. You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap…and your child in the overhead compartment.

7. You don’t know what sex three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.

6. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

5. You start using smileys in your snail mail.

4. You check your email. It says “no new messages.” So you check it again.

3. Your cat has its own home page.

2. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.

And, the number one sign you could be an Internet Junkie is…..

1. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

The Complete Woman – TOP TEN: Top Ten Reasons Eve Was Created

10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.

9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.

8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.

7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor’s, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.

6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put he garbage on the curb.

5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.

4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.

3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

2. As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone!

And finally, the Number 1 reason why God created Eve …

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, “I can do better than that.”